So… 2011 is almost finished huh. I don’t know what, if anything to feel. To be honest, this morning I am very blasé. Whats another day, another year?

For a year that starts with the passing of a neighbour and an exploding appendix, who were we to think it would be smooth sailing – regardless of how much the year before absolutely sucker punched me and left me gasping for breath. There were many circumstances where I certainly had to make a conscious choice to laugh despite the circumstances, rather than be defeated by the very same.

Diligence in financial aspects proved its worth, and I am grateful that perhaps even now, when it is a struggle to not spend and do amazing things, that we are mastering this and mastering it well. Suze Orman would be proud of us indeed. The ache I feel to settle, in a house all of our very own is dull, and constant, and I am being taught patience and diligence in the process of that particular journey.

I am thankful, grateful (such ‘small words, which do little to convey the emotion) that we created such a safe haven in our little unit. Where you can sit in the morning with the sun streaming in and watch the birds, or at night with the bats and lose track of time. I am grateful that we both worked really hard this year to be each others best friend above all (GOAT!) and that was a very safe place to rest and talk and be. My, we have grown up haven’t we!

Watching our families pull rank in the tough times, and cry with laughter in the sunnier times, was a particular grateful discovery moment. Talk about how far we have come – one of my most favourite things in the world is being together every other week and just hanging out. It is always lovely when you realise your siblings are more like your friends with a healthy dose of respect and admiration, and knowing they will always work to fill a need, quietly without any fanfare, because that is who they are and what they do… and continuing to build and expand on these relationships and the special one you hold with your parents is a very peaceful and settled journey – one where you are always safe and loved, regardless.

There were many, many, many times this year that I wondered what on earth. What on earth is coming that I was required to use every ounce of energy, strength and courage to stand, and speak and fight for my ground, and keep standing. For a year whose word was ‘trust’ that I was certainly required to do. I would love to say that each situation I was shoved into that required me to reach into those depths got easier, but in fact it absolutely did not. I felt, I feel spent. I could sleep a thousand years, and spend the same amount of time re building my introverted self. However learn to trust, and speak, and stand I did, and I did well. And perhaps, one day, it will get easier, or second nature, and I won’t question myself, or let Ronnie’s be the louder voice. Because your gut just knows when you are doing what you need to.

Above all, I am infinitely proud of the journey that was this year. We have ended it different people than we entered it, stronger, wiser, diligent. We conquered hospitals, banks and gluten free eating. We chose to laugh and stand and create amazing memories. We still carry and nurture hopes and dreams for the year ahead and beyond. We lived, i mean, we really lived.

I am excited for 2012, for all that it will bring. For building relationships, for connecting with new ones, for jumping the obstacles and smashing down the walls. For another year of living, and amazing memories to hold.

Linking in with Mummy Issues: Part 2 for my final linky of the year… I’m taking a weekend breather to welcome in the new year with my GOAT/ ELP  and some dearest friends… returning in the New Year kicking off with Debs challenge