i deserve to put on weight this week… i deserve it with the way i’ve been behaving, all that deep fried delicious nonsense. put on weight, make that my punishment… make me feel better, vindicated, naughty, an i told you so for that three day derailment.
who am I kidding? Science and Biology don’t care about my feelings, nor do they really know what I deserve. The cold truth is to them, its just about the numbers… energy in, energy out. nutrients in, nutrients out.
maybe thats the key – maybe that is it all along. I’ve been personifying, attaching feelings to mathematics and punishment by degrees of bad food that runs past my mouth. when i betray all that i know, all that i practised – it only makes sense.
only, it no longer makes sense. it is this simple – the maths needs to add up. the science needs to be complete. the equation balanced – if i want my body to run at its optimum, then i need to treat it properly. so simple.